Even worse than the word money is the word BUDGET. It’s like the swear word of money. This one word sends people into a state of financial overwhelm unlike anything else that I’ve seen.

So when people talk about wellness, I find it ironic that financial wellness is often overlooked. Financial stress and overwhelm runs like a virus in your mind subconsciously impacting how you show up at your job and in your life, and many people carry this stress and overwhelm like an unwelcome sack of financial waste on their back. When people don’t feel financially well, it only adds to the mental, emotional, and physical wellness challenges that they may already be experiencing.

What do you think all of that is doing to your mind, body, and soul?

The world that I live in and see every day includes people paralyzed with financial fear, embarrassment and guilt. All of these people were never taught how to properly manage their money, yet they feel they’re the only ones who didn’t get the “money memo” despite the fact that at least 70% of people are living paycheck to paycheck (including people who earn really good money and would consider themselves to be successful).

I’m here to start a revolution and share the good news that personal finance can be taught and it can be friendly and fun while being an empowering part of the overall wellness in your life.

Financial wellness isn’t just about having a savings and spending plan (this is my preferred phrase to describe a budget!), getting out of debt, or saving money, it’s also about aligning how you use your money with what matters and what’s important to you. When you use your money in a way that’s aligned with what matters to you, you’re living a financially authentic life and this is the platform for financial freedom, financial independence, and financial peace of mind.

And it doesn’t stop just at financial peace of mind, either. When you have financial stability and clarity, you then have choice in your life. As you make choices to do more that makes you happy and really matters to you, those choices inevitably lead to opportunities to contribute in a bigger way to other people in your life, to your community, and the world at large. And if everyone were contributing something that mattered to them in a bigger way, imagine how truly connected we would all feel instead of the negativity we see and feel all the time. Clarity leads to choice, choice leads to contribution, and contribution leads to connectedness.

As you can see, being financially authentic and empowered isn’t just about the money. It’s about a pivotal point that we’re at where we have a choice right now to be, do, and have more in our lives. We can have more freedom, more choice, more connectedness, more wellness and more happiness.

As I’ve seen and experienced, living a financially authentic life results in at least 3 key benefits when wellness is considered:

1. The chaotic energy around money in your life is reduced – Have you ever stopped in the middle of the day to worry about whether you paid that bill on time? How about wondering whether or not you can afford something in your life that came up unexpectedly? When you take the time to be financially authentic and you have a solid financial plan that includes the things that matter to you, you know where you are and you know where you’re going when it comes to your money and your life and there’s substantially less chaos when something unexpected arises. It’s like your “financial GPS” is fully operational and you’re driving in the right direction, so a short detour off of the financial road isn’t such a big deal.
2. Money decisions are suddenly simpler – I hear all the time how people don’t know what to do when a financial “emergency” comes up, or when they find something that they want to buy but know they probably don’t necessarily need. There’s a lot of energy that goes into trying to make these decisions, and when it’s a “want vs. need” decision there’s a lot of guilt sometimes too. When you’ve taken the time to plan ahead, you’re ahead of the proverbial money 8-ball by having clear intentions about how you want to use your money which simplifies the decision making process. You’re no longer spending days going back and forth on making purchasing decisions, and if you’re married (or in a long term relationship) those money arguments suddenly become a lot less frequent!
3. Financial stress decreases, and finances become more friendly and fun – Financially authentic plans help to decrease stress and take the sack of financial waste off of your back, and when your money has a purpose and a place to go then you can resume breathing and focus on having more fun in your life. If you’re like most people I talk to, there’s not enough fun igniting your life is there? Financial clarity has been a constant in my life and it has allowed me to take risks, enjoy myself, and live a life that I’ve only dreamed about.

As you spend time thinking about your wellness goals for 2013 and beyond, I would encourage you to start that process by reflecting on and being grateful for all of the awesome things that you already have in your life. Then, ask yourself whether the pillar of financial wellness in your life could use a little attention – what could you accomplish with the extra time and energy that you would find if once and for all you empowered yourself to be financially authentic and clear?

Could you stop working in a job that was no longer a good fit for you? Could you see being laid off as a blessing to have the time to reconnect with what you’re passionate about instead of being fearful about it? Could you be brave enough to start your own business doing something that you loved that made a difference to others? I was blessed to be able to say “yes” to all of these questions because of the financial clarity and wellness in my own life.

The options are never-ending really…is it time for you to choose what wellness really means to you?

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But can I confess something else?  In the last few years, I’ve broken a lot of the financial “rules” that the financial experts say I should adhere to.  When you start a business like I’ve done, sometime you have to break the rules to get yourself on the fast path toward a longer-term goal.  So yes, I’m currently carrying debt related to the business. And yes, I’ve taken money out of my retirement account to fund the business (I can hear the experts screaming now “noooooooooo!!!!).

When it comes to financial “rules,” there are lots of financial experts out there telling you what you should do with your money.  Pay yourself first, save 3-6 months of living expenses, don’t carry credit card debt, etc. etc. etc.  And in general, I think they have solid ideas that should be considered when you’re building your financial plan.  I incorporate many of these ideas in the plans that I design for my clients.

But the one big thing I find that these experts are missing is that people want CHOICE in their lives when it comes to how they live it.  People want to live and be happy now, and not wait until they “get to retirement.”

Can I tell you a secret about these financial experts? Sometimes they drive me nuts.  They have a lot of good intentions and are doing their best to teach you what has worked in the past to be financially “safe” and end up with a boatload of money when you retire.  It’s what I like to call the “accumulation method” where you save up a ton of money and for the most part, wait until “someday” to have fun.

Well you know what? Life’s way too damn short.  And from my perspective, life is to be lived NOW and experiences are to be had NOW (not when you retire).  It’s time for us to create our own rules!

Now, before everyone starts to go off the reservation spending all their money and racking up credit card debt to live a life that they can’t afford and saying that I said it was ok to do that, that is NOT what I’m saying.  What I am saying is that it’s in your best interest to invest some time in developing your own financial rules that work for you and your life and that will help you to achieve your goals and choose what is important for you.

Be intentional with your money.  Be intentional with your life.  Sit down and take time to decide which of the traditional financial rules will serve you well and which ones you want to redefine a bit more for yourself so that you can enjoy your life here and now.  It’s important to have a financial framework that allows you to build financial freedom for yourself while also experiencing life joyfully.

Establishing your own financial rules can be a bit tricky if you’ve never tried before, so here are the 3 steps I would recommend if you’re wanting to reconsider your own rules:

1)      Ensure your financial stability – I’ve had clients that get really excited when they hear that I’m not afraid to break some of the more traditional financial rules that most people would suggest.  However, let me be clear – while I am not afraid to bend and mold the rules to meet each client’s need, it is critically important to be working toward a basic level of financial stability before changing the rules in any substantial way.  The reality is that life takes money to live, and money is a tool to support goals.  So first and foremost, develop a financial plan to suit your life that allows you to handle your commitments (i.e. bills, etc.), save some money, and pay down your debt, if applicable.  Having a financial foundation will allow you to absorb future unanticipated bumps in the road.

2)      Consider the rules of the past – Many of us learn things about money from the people around us while we’re growing up (parents, grandparents, neighbors, etc.), and we never stop to really think about whether these rules or beliefs actually work for the lives we are building for ourselves now.  In my household, both of my parents worked as employees and while they taught me many great things about money, I absorbed the belief (or rule, if you will) that financial security came from a paycheck and benefits.  It wasn’t until I realized that this little gem of a belief was rattling around in my head (unconsciously rattling, I might add!) that I could examine it and decide consciously whether it was still true for me as I considered entrepreneurship that would require me to be responsible for my own paycheck and benefits.  So, ask yourself this question as you think about changing your own financial rules – what beliefs or rules were you taught that may no longer serve you where you are in your life now?  Once you gain awareness of what these beliefs and rules are, you can spend time understanding them and begin to choose differently and consciously.

3)      Balance short-term goals with long-term goals – If you listen to many of the financial experts, a significant portion of them are highly focused on saving for retirement as the “mecca” of all times in our lives.  While I agree that long-term saving for retirement is indeed important and that there are smart ways to do that, for me life is also to be enjoyed now and money is to be used to experience the present as well.  As you’re considering new financial rules for your life, think about some of the experiences that you say you’d like to do “someday” and think about whether you should fast track those things to do sooner rather than later.  Should you save for that vacation to Italy 3 years from now instead of when you retire in 20 years?  Perhaps you’d enjoy date night with your husband or wife once a week to keep your marriage strong?  Maybe you love a certain place to vacation and you’d like to buy a small second home for regular time off to rest and relax with friends and family? Each of these choices might make you happier now and result in a better balance between fun and financial responsibility.

As my mentor would say, live life like you mean it and go for your dreams.  I know I live a much happier life now that my paycheck no longer defines my worth and I balance my retirement goals with living in the present, and I’d love for you to have the same for your own life!

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As I reflected on what I wanted to write about this week, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about exactly what it was that my parents taught me about money and life that have made such a difference in how I was able to build a strong financial foundation that has afforded me financial freedom and choice in my life. I also thought it might be helpful to share what they taught me so that you could not only learn from what they taught me, but also understand why it’s so important for me to teach others how to plan for their financial futures and use their money efficiently and effectively.

While there were many lessons that my parents taught me, I’ve boiled it down to 3 key lessons that have impacted how I handle my money and to a larger extent, my life.

Lesson #1: Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

This phrase was (and still is sometimes!) one of my Dad’s favorites.  Any time I used to try to rush him to do something that I needed quickly (a ride to the mall, a decision about something I wanted to do, etc.), this gem of a statement would pop up.  And while it annoyed me when I was younger, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of looking ahead at where you want to go and establishing a roadmap on how to get there.

From a financial perspective, this lesson also applies.  I’ve had clients in the past who tell me “so-and-so did this” or “so-and-so wouldn’t let me XYZ” and that’s simply putting the power in someone else’s hand when perhaps you didn’t take the time to plan financially in advance on your end.  When you understand your “money map” and know how your money is being used, you can use money as an effective tool to live your life and avoid situations where someone else has control over the decisions that you make.

Plan ahead, and you’ll be less likely to run into an emergency where you’re dependent on someone else!  As I say to my clients all the time, focus on developing your own personal economy and you’ll understand what true freedom and choice is all about!

Lesson #2: Live within your means

This one may seem obvious, and it’s said often by lots of financial experts, yet I find that the true lesson in these words is often missed since they are repeated so often (and people get tired of hearing the same things).  While both of my parents used this phrase and lesson often, since my Mom was in charge of the family finances it was primarily her who taught my sister and I what this really meant, both in word and in reinforced action.

Let me share a story from when I was about 17 or 18 years old.  (PS – My Mom doesn’t remember this story, but I absolutely do because it taught me powerfully about living within my means.)  At this point, I had a license and my parents had given me a credit card that was an extension of one of their cards.  This was as much to learn how to use a credit card responsibly as it was for my parents’ convenience for me to be able to buy certain things on my own that I needed (with their approval in advance).  One day, my mother told me I could buy new basketball sneakers for the upcoming season and I could spend $80.  I headed off to the mall after school that same day and found a pair of sneakers that cost $100.

I rationalized to myself, “what’s another $20? This newer brand and color looks better so I’ll go with the $100 pair.”  Time went by, and a few weeks later my mother showed up at my bedroom door holding her credit card statement and said “do you have $20?”  I looked at her funny and said “yes, I do – why?”  She said “if you want $100 sneakers then you can pay the difference from the $80 I asked you to spend since you work and earn your own money.”

Now, this might seem harsh to some of you but I have to tell you it was one of the best lessons my parents ever taught me about money.  It wasn’t about the fact that my parents couldn’t afford the additional $20 (they totally could).  This was a lesson that taught me the importance of planning and sticking to a plan because without one my parents would not be happily and successfully retired in their early 60s with the opportunity to spend several days a week watching their 2 beautiful grandchildren.  Those small $20 differences add up over time when you start to think about the freedom that our daily choices can provide for us, don’t they?

Lesson #3: Always be ahead of the “financial 8-ball”

While my mother didn’t necessarily explicitly teach us this lesson, her financial habits and actions of sitting down each weekend at the kitchen table to pay the bills and attend to financial matters showed us everything we needed to know. Sometimes it was simply writing checks and paying the bills, sometimes it was following up on charges that didn’t make sense (i.e. medical bills, odd charges on monthly bills), or perhaps even transferring money into a savings account.  No matter what she was doing, it usually involved about an hour to 90 minutes of her time and for the most part we never saw her sit down with the checkbook and the bills again until the following weekend.

I use this habit with my clients all the time, and I call it a “money date!”  It’s amazing how impactful and freeing it can be to sit down just once a week and handle all of your financial matters for the week ahead.  You stress less about money knowing that you have set space aside to pay your bills, transfer funds between accounts, and look ahead to make sure you’re always ahead of things that you need to address. 

So what does all of this boil down to? Having a plan, living within your means and being ahead of the “financial 8-ball” doesn’t just happen without some effort on your part.  In my mind, having a cash flow plan (a.k.a. “budget”) that helps you to be in control of your money is a critical piece of being on a path toward financial freedom and independence.  But here’s the catch – you have to start somewhere, yet many people were never taught and don’t know how to develop a plan that works for their life.

If you’re looking for a place to learn how you can get started on your own path, make sure you take advantage of the FREE CALL this coming Tuesday to get the information you need to move beyond financial overwhelm and stress into a world of financial peace!!

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So let me get this straight – you’re scared (which means you’re not thinking as clearly as you’d like to), you think you’re “supposed to” put together a budget (which is like the universal swear word of money), and you are “shoulding” on yourself that it’s an exercise you have to go through (and be tortured it sounds like to me).

C’mon….how about a little compassion for yourself please?  Is it possible for you to see that maybe it doesn’t have to be torturous and if you just had the right tools and information it would be easier?  I’d like to help you shift your perspective to have building a financial plan be a more joyful experience so that you can have the financial freedom, independence and choice that you’re seeking.

The way I see it, there are 3 steps that are required “pre-work” before you ever start looking at numbers to develop your financial plan.

1)      Retire the word budget from your vocabulary – I would say eliminate it, but since other people still use it frequently and we need to be able to recognize the word (I can only educate so many people at a time!), we’ll “retire” it for now.  Why retire the word budget?  Energetically speaking, budget just feels awful. It feels like you’re choking and like if you have a budget you’ll never be able to buy a cute pair of shoes or the newest technological gadget ever again.  Sounds pretty miserable and life-sucking if you ask me, no wonder no one wants to put together a budget! 

Instead of the word budget, I suggest using the phrase “savings and spending plan.”  As one husband reminded me across the kitchen table during a session with his wife one day, “Beth, it’s the same thing, why get caught up in semantics?”  My response? “Well your wife seems to be much more willing to participate in the conversation when we call it a “savings and spending plan” than when we call it a budget, right?”  The husband smiled and said “excellent point.” Sometimes it really is the small tweaks in life that make the difference!

So stop thinking about budgeting as something that weighs you down, and instead start thinking about a “savings and spending plan” as something that is just a financial illustration of how you want your money to move in the world that will help you get from “here” to “there.”

2)      Get really clear on what you want for your life – Before you plan your money, you need to spend a considerable amount of time thinking about what you want for your life.  Money is nothing but a tool to help you move from your present to your future (from “here” to “there” remember?), and without some sort of path to follow money will just exist without purpose.   Unless you tell money where to go it will go just about anywhere it wants to!

Being financially authentic means that you use your money in a way that aligns with what matters to you in your life.  When you’re financially authentic, a financial plan is nothing more than the full expression of what is important to you and all of a sudden the energy around money becomes much less chaotic, and financial decisions are simplified.  You have a road map for your life and your money and it provides you with clear guidance and direction.

In the end, a solid financial foundation and a good financial plan simply requires that you’re intentional, authentic, and proactive with managing your money.  Get clear and get real about your life, and using your money efficiently and effectively will become much easier, I promise.

3)      Set some specific goals with timelines – Now that you’ve gotten some clarity around what you want for your life, it’s time to set some specific goals so that you can then determine whether those goals will require money to support them.  Not all goals need money, although many goals do need some level of financial support at some point in time.  

When setting goals, I encourage people to think about them in 3 different time-based groups – short-term (1 to 3 years); medium-term (3 to 10 years); and long-term (10+ years).  This is important because depending on the goal, it can impact whether or not it’s a goal that needs to be reflected in the current financial plan or whether it can wait to be included in a few years.  Remind yourself when you’re setting your goals to be realistic – saying that you want a Ferrari in a year isn’t likely to be something that you can achieve (unless you randomly hit the lottery, and the lottery isn’t a financial plan it’s a fluke!).

Once you’ve determined which of the goals need money to support them, consider the short-term goals first and state the goals in a very specific and measurable way.  For example, saying “I want to save more money” isn’t very specific, whereas “I want to save $1,200 in the next year to take a vacation in spring 2014″ is very specific.  The more specific goal allows you to measure out that you’d like to save $100/month toward that goal ($1,200 total / 12 months), whereas the more general goal doesn’t give you a solid target.

So before you even start to concern yourself with looking at the numbers, take some time to sink deep into your head and your heart to think about what you really want for your life.  Are you happy as you are?  Do you want to set a really big goal that needs financial support (i.e. like starting your own business)?  Do you want to simplify things and live more peacefully and calmly without as much “stuff” cluttering up your life?

The options are endless, it’s simply up to you to choose and design a financial plan to match your life!

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With the right approach, finances can indeed be friendly and fun which helps to relieve a lot of the fear surrounding money.  In fact, my business tagline is “Making Finances Friendly and Fun” so I’m even putting it out there loud and proud.   I believe every word of my tagline.  I live it, I breathe it, and I teach it to my clients (and pretty much just about anyone else who will listen).

I can hear the chatter in your mind right now – she’s got to be joking. I’m so stressed out right now about money that the idea that it could actually be “friendly and fun” is pure insanity.

Call me insane, call me whatever you want to.  In fact you can call me an orange hippopotamus if it helps you to consider changing your financial perspective for the better, I could care less!  But I have proof that it can happen – my clients all tell me in the end that they see money more positively and aren’t weighed down by fear.

With a few simple shifts in perspective, you can start seeing things differently for yourself and decrease the amount of financial fear in your life while increasing the amount of financial fun and friendliness.  There are 3 simple steps I suggest to get started on viewing your finances in this new and exciting way.

1)      Think of money as a game – One of the main ways I tell people to shift their perspective about money to a more fun and friendly approach is to think about money as a game.  In essence, money is a tool and a resource to get you where you want to go and to allow you to do the things that you want to do, so the more money that you keep the more that you can do the things that excite you.  With that in mind, start to think of yourself as the gatekeeper of your money – it comes in, and YOU are in charge of what goes out!  Take a stance that every bill that you pay is a money-making opportunity in and of itself.  Do you know how many times I’ve found an error on a bill that I’ve reviewed and called the company about it to have my bill adjusted? I can assure you it has been LOTS of times and it has likely added up to thousands of dollars over the years. Another great idea is to involve other family members in helping you to manage the money.  In fact, I have a client who plans her family’s food for the week and creates the grocery list for her husband and he then takes their young daughter to the grocery store where she adds up their bill in the store with a calculator so they can make sure to stay within their planned amount!  By making a simple shift to empower yourself as the gatekeeper of your money and begin looking for ways to involve others and ask for help you’re well on your way to making money more manageable. 

2)      Redistribute and realign how you’re using your money – I find that most people talk about the things that they “should” do with their money.  And while there are certain smart things that you can be doing with your money (saving and living within your means come to mind),  I would encourage you to spend less time thinking about what you “have to do” and more time thinking about what you “love to do” when it comes to your money.  Yes, we all have responsibilities and I completely get that.  However, from the information I see when I look at how my clients choose to use their money before we put together a new plan I see a lot of unconscious spending.  That isn’t a judgment on my part it’s just a fact from where I stand.  It’s very likely that there is space for you to have more experiences in your life that you would “love to do” if you simply took the time to redistribute and realign how you’re using your money right now! 

3)      Allow yourself to dream again – For me, this step is the most important one in making the shift to view finances as friendly and fun.  For many people, money is full of a heavy energy and responsibility.  Many people have simply forgotten how to dream and think of money only as something to pay the bills.  If you want only enough money to pay the bills, then that’s exactly what you’ll attract and not much more.    What are the reasons why you’d like to have more money in your life?  For me, I love to travel and learn, and I want to contribute toward the futures of my 2 adorable nephews, Jack and Ryan.  I enjoy taking care of my mind, body, and soul as well which for me means lots of Pilates classes and regular massages, manicures and pedicures too.  In the future, I’m looking forward to being married and being a mom, so I know I’ll have lots of reasons to dream big then too!  So ask yourself, what do you dream about doing and is it even reflected in your financial life at all?  Where can you be fearless and dream about doing something bigger than you ever thought you could to inspire yourself and others? You’ll be able to attract more money and financial stability into your life if you have a specific reason to enjoy it.

In the end, viewing finances as friendly and fun requires a purposeful decision to want to see things differently.  There’s an old quote that “every master was once a disaster” and this is true for your finances as well.  Perhaps things aren’t going well now, however that doesn’t mean that you can’t decide today to shift things around and view your finances in a more positive manner.  The choice is yours, are you ready to believe that finances can be friendly and fun?

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What do I mean by that exactly?  Well, it’s a science in the sense that there is a method to the madness, a systematic way to manage your money that will keep you well-informed and ahead of the proverbial 8-ball.  However, standing in your power with money is also an art because beyond the systematic processes of money management it’s also about how you energetically put yourself out into the world when it comes to money.

Let me explain a little further.  When I think of people who are powerful with their money, I think of people who have lots of “money mojo” – they set boundaries, they stand up for themselves with class and grace, and they are not afraid to handle what needs to be handled when it comes to financial matters.  However, many people don’t have solid “money mojo” because they don’t even realize that they are often giving away their money power.

So how do people give away their money power? It happens in 5 key ways, mainly because people are:

• Afraid of conflict;
• Afraid of facing responsibility and being a financial “grown-up”;
• Afraid of what others will think (embarrassed that people will talk about them or that people will be angry with them);
• Afraid of looking like/being a failure (usually further aggravated by comparing oneself to others);
• Afraid of disempowering someone else (i.e. with their success, etc.).

Do any of these ways resonate with you? Could you be paving a more powerful path to financial freedom just by plugging up one of these power leaks in your life?

Claiming your money power starts with one thing – a commitment to understanding where you’re giving away your power so that you can then understand where you would like to set a new standard in your financial life.  A bit of a heads-up and warning here though as often when people shift to a new standard of power with money, it can (and has often been known to) cause an unpleasant reaction in others as you shift toward that new standard.  You change the dance steps in an old routine that someone else is comfortable with (and where they can potentially take advantage of you), and they tend to get a little testy!

Start with these 3 steps to take back your money power today:

1. Identify your money power leaks – This may be the toughest step of all of them and that is to honestly own up to those situations where you give away your power with money!  Review the 5 ways noted above that most people give away their power with money, and see which one of the five is most applicable to you (hint: it’s usually the one where you read it and want to immediately pretend you didn’t see it J ).  It might be ugly at first, however try to have compassion for yourself that you’re doing your best to be honest and step forward to improve your financial future.  It may also be helpful to review the list with a loved one that you trust; often we can’t see for ourselves what others more easily and objectively can see.
2. Decide what boundaries you will put in place going forward – Usually when money power leaks exist, it has a lot to do with boundaries that have either lapsed or were never there in the first place.  It’s time to strengthen the boundaries around your power leak, so brainstorm on what boundary you will put into place to prevent any future leaks.
3. Take action immediately – Now that you’ve identified what you’d like to work on, and you’re clear about the boundaries you’re putting in place, it’s time to be proactive.  Complete the following sentence, “The action I will take is _______ by _____ (set a date within a reasonably short timeframe).” It doesn’t have to be a big step; it can be a very basic step that’s intended to get you moving forward.  If you’d like extra credit, come up with several steps that will get you blasting through to setting a new standard for yourself in no time!

It takes practice and courage to claim your money power, and at first it can feel really uncomfortable.  Also, as you’re figuring out where you’re not being powerful with your money, there can be a tendency to feel ashamed or embarrassed.  Do yourself a favor and don’t stay at the “pity party” long though, ok?  Envision each situation as a gift that is sent to teach you something about yourself and your life and work through the issues one step at a time to stand in your full money power!

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Feeling this way can often lead to a disastrous next step – sticking your head in the sand and trying to hide from your debt. Understanding where you are now is the only way I know to help you plan your way out of that crappy and suffocating feeling.

Look, I completely get it. As a business owner, for the first time in my adult life I have credit card debt which essentially represents investments I’ve made in the business and in myself. While I know that the investments I’ve made are very much worth it and are intended to fuel the growth of my business, debt can still feel very yucky (a very technical term, of course).

When you have large amounts of consumer debt (i.e. credit cards, car loans, and using home equity lines to finance personal endeavors) it’s like riding a roller coaster. You’re energetically all over the place – up, down, up, down, sideways – never really knowing how to get off the ride that you never intended to stay on permanently. Somewhere along the ride you lost track of the debt and you’re afraid to acknowledge what could be a scary number.

So my question for you is this – are you brave enough to ride the debt roller coaster to the end and get off the ride once and for all? If the answer is yes, keep reading for 3 key steps to eliminating debt forever.

Step #1: Write it all down – Yup, that’s right. The first step is the hardest when it comes to debt. It’s time to write down all of your debt balances so that you can acknowledge your truth. A lot of times people feel sick to their stomachs at the thought of doing this, however in the end it’s often not as bad as people thought it would be. Without acknowledging where things stand currently, it will be very difficult to find a way out…you might end up digging a hole to China when you wanted to dig a hole to Russia instead (metaphorically speaking, of course!).

When you’re writing things down, make sure you include all of the debt details. You’ll want current balances, interest rates, due dates (of monthly payments), and minimum payments required for each piece of debt. A best practice would be to to write down all of your debt just to be able to see it all in one place (i.e. including longer term debt like your mortgage and student loans), however for purposes of getting rid of debt with draining energy we’re primarily going to focus on how to eliminate consumer debt (i.e. credit cards, car loans, home equity lines used for personal purposes, etc.)

Step #2: Assess your savings – You might be saying to yourself, “what does my savings balance have to do with debt anyway?” The answer? EVERYTHING. A healthy savings account is the key to getting out of debt and stepping off of the debt roller coaster once and for all. Let me explain.

Life happens, and unexpected expenses pop up. It can’t be avoided. Therefore, when you’re prepared (with a savings account) you can absorb them easily. Without a savings account, you’ll pay down your debt for a while until the next unexpected expense arises and you’re stuck to put it on a credit card again which increases your balance that you’ve been diligently working to pay down. And you feel defeated…UGH.

How do you avoid this feeling? If you don’t have savings or if you have only a small amount of savings, target saving at least one month’s worth of expenses. This may feel counterintuitive to save while you have debt to pay down (that is likely costing you money via interest), but trust me – I’ve seen it work time and time again and having a savings account helps you to absorb future unexpected expenses so you can stay the course with paying down your debt.

Step #3: Plan your way out of debt – This last and final step is critical in getting out of debt. Without a good plan, most people just throw money after their debt haphazardly much like you would throw wet spaghetti against the wall and it would stick anywhere it felt like it (on the kitchen cabinet, on the floor, perhaps even on someone standing nearby)! It would be completely random where it landed, instead of it being strategically stuck (or in the case of debt, applied to a random balance).

Ask yourself these key questions: 1) how much extra money beyond the minimum payments can you afford to dedicate toward paying down debt? and 2) what are the priority pieces of debt to pay down first? In terms of what pieces of debt to consider as “priority” consider the following:

• Are there smaller debt balances where you would feel accomplished if they were paid off?
• What are the interest rates – is there one piece of debt that is costing you a lot more?
• Which piece(s) of debt is causing you the most angst and you would feel a sense of relief if it was eliminated (i.e. debt to family, debt from an emotional/triggering event, etc.)?

After you’ve answered these 2 key questions for yourself, make a conscious decision as to which one piece of debt you’ll apply the extra funds to, and pay the minimums on all the rest until you eliminate the first piece of debt. Then, go through the process again until all debt has been paid off.

While these 3 steps may not be easy, if you take one step at a time you can significantly alter the dampened energy that you may be feeling about your debt. Handling your debt will allow you to step powerfully into a role as a financially authentic individual and be in charge of your financial life…one step at a time!

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One thing that intrigues many people that I meet is how I came up with the name of my company, Financially Authentic.  It’s not exactly a common term, so I find myself having to explain it often.  It’s an interesting story on how it came to me, and in a way it was divinely given to me in a “thought flash” early one morning (and the website domain just happened to be available too…how convenient!).  As background, one of my lessons in life has been to find my way back to a place where I can be all of who I am meant to be, and I call this my journey to authenticity.  It’s been a long journey (and it’s still ongoing) and it hasn’t always been easy, however it has always been worth it in the end.  So my company name is a blend of my love for finances and my own personal journey of becoming more authentic.

Now that you know the personal story behind how I came up with my company name, would you like to know how I define it in the context of my work with others?  As I started on this journey and before I started my own business, I found that when I used my money in a way that mattered to me (i.e. experiences, things, etc.) that the energy money had in my life decreased significantly – things felt lighter and more simplified.  When I share what it means to be financially authentic, I explain that when you use your money in a way that is aligned with what is really important to you in your life that you can then use money as a tool to live your life with more confidence, ease, and grace.  Essentially, building a stable financial foundation filled with clarity on what you want in your life is the beginning to bigger things.

So why does being financially authentic even matter, you might ask?

Well, it has to do with those “bigger things” I just mentioned.  When you are financially authentic in your life and have gained financial clarity and stability, this then leads to space to be able to think, breathe and reflect because you’re not stressed about money.  As you have time to think, you can consciously decide who you want to be and what you want to do…you get to have choice.   With choice comes the ability to live in a more conscious way which usually leads to the question of “what am I here to really contribute?”  And when everyone in this world is really making a powerful contribution, then this world will become a much more connected place.  Because if you haven’t noticed lately, we’re in a bit of a dark place with a lot of negativity surrounding us and it doesn’t have to be this way.  You can have clarity, choice, contribution, and connectedness….if you’re willing to be brave.

Ok, wow – that felt like a lot to get out all at once.  It’s all part of my bigger mission beyond spreadsheets for cash flow and net worth – to help people make a bigger impact with their lives and contribute and connect.  I’m not 100% sure how it’s all going to work, but it feels right…so I’m moving ahead and have faith that it will all work out!

Beth, this is all great, but how do I get started with being financially authentic – HELP?!?

This is a great question and don’t you worry…I wouldn’t leave you hanging without some practical tips to get started!  Here are 3 key ways you can get started on your own journey to financial authenticity so that YOU can have more clarity, choice, contribution and connectedness:

Step #1: Know Your Numbers  – It’s very difficult to be financially authentic if you have your head lodged firmly in the sand about your financial situation.  It can be very painful and stressful to feel like you’re not in control of your money.  There’s blame, shame, guilt and embarrassment that you don’t know how to handle your money as well as you would like to.  STOP IT.  Stop the blame, shame and guilt, and instead know that you’re not alone – almost 70% of people live paycheck to paycheck these days, and that includes really successful people too.  Personal finance simply isn’t taught in our society, and it needs to be as a critical life skill.  Be kind to yourself, be willing to look your financial situation in the eye, and ask for help.  There are many compassionate and non-judgmental professionals out there willing to help.

Step #2: Consciously Decide How to Spend Your Money – In our fast-paced world where we’re always on the go, and we’re constantly bombarded by online advertising and social media, it’s hard to control the urge to buy and satisfy the desire to immediately reward ourselves with something for working hard.  In my experience, it’s only when you consciously decide in advance how to use your money that the unconscious spending stops.  I’m convinced from what I’ve seen in my own life and with my clients that when you take responsibility for how you use your money that you’ll be happier and that you’ll actually attract more money into your life as a result.  (PS – this is that “financial alignment” I referred to earlier…decide to use money in ways that matter to you!)

Step #3: Always Be in the Financial Flow – Always being aware of your financial situation takes some routine and discipline, so I recommend to everyone to just start with a weekly money date.  A weekly money date is like going to the financial gym, if you will. Once a week, sit down to pay your bills and handle any other financial matters that need to be addressed (i.e. follow-up phone calls, etc.).  Having a plan to use your money intentionally and purposefully is important, however life is always changing and so our financial plans have to adapt with those changes as well.

In the end, be sure to remind yourself of this often (I know I need to)…financial authenticity is a journey, not necessarily a destination.  So hop on the train wherever you’re at, and enjoy the ride to a more meaningful and impactful life, ok?

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To me, financial gratitude is when you’re grateful for the resources that you already have, instead of always focusing on what you don’t have. If you’re always focused on what you don’t have, you’re focusing on the negative instead of being appreciative of what you already do have.

Let me offer an example. If a loved one heard you complaining about what you didn’t get for Christmas when they just gave you a beautiful scarf that they took time to pick out specifically just for you, how do you think they would feel about getting you something next year? Probably not very good, right? They might not put much effort into it next year. It works like this in a universal sense as well – if you focus on what you’re not getting, you’re sending out bad energy and you block positive things from showing up in your life.

I’m going to get real here for a minute about my own life. One year ago I took the brave step to open my own business, and let me tell you building a business is challenging sometimes. There’s no guaranteed paycheck, and I’ve been investing in myself and my business heavily. I have less money in my accounts now than when I started, and I have some additional debt now too from some business investments that I’ve made. Yet despite the decrease in my financial net worth, my personal self worth has increased exponentially and I’m grateful to know I’m on the right path and living my purpose. I choose each and every day to focus on the many resources I do have. I have supportive family, friends, colleagues, and a life that I love – can you ask for much more than that really?

At this point, you may be saying “Well Beth, how do you find financial gratitude, especially during the challenging moments?” I’m glad that you asked.

Step #1 – Reflect more on what’s working, and less on what’s not working!

When was the last time you complained about something? I know several years ago that I complained….sadly I did it a LOT. I was miserable at work and in my life, and I whined to others about it. My friends were unhappy too – it was like a big old complaint-fest and we fed off each other’s energy about how crappy we felt (yuck). And if I’m being really raw here, I was jealous of other people who were happy. (Sorry, it’s ugly but it’s true.)

Then I learned to focus more on what was working and the resources that I did have instead of whining and complaining. Slowly but surely I felt a shift start to happen…more good things and good people showed up in my life.

Try for yourself and schedule some time to reflect on what’s working. If you’re having trouble with getting the complaining under control, check out this great resource I learned about a few years ago – http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/.

Step #2 – Write down what’s working

Once you’ve found some positive resources in your life, it’s time to write them down (i.e. journal, gratitude jar, etc.). Because when we’re trying to shift our habits, sometimes we forget the positive things in the harder moments. Shifting takes time, so it’s always good to have something written down to refer back to when you’re struggling and having a tough day.

Step #3 – ASK for what you need

During Step #1, inevitably things that you need and don’t yet have will come up. We can’t help it, we’re human.

Select one item from the list of what you need to ask for help with. What specifically do you need help with (details are important)? Who can help you? How will you ask for help?

Don’t be afraid to simply ask. It’s an often forgotten art form, especially for us women. Be brave and ask as you may just be surprised how positively others respond to your request. When the resource that you need appears, you can be grateful for it and reflect on what you have (and thus, the circle begins again).

3 simple steps to begin building financial gratitude in your own life – it’s that simple to get started. And for a bonus step (because some of you are over-achievers like me), if you want to take it up a notch you can ask the loved ones in your life how you can help them. You may just spark something in them to help spread a ripple effect of financial gratitude!

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But what about financial clutter? How do you start to de-clutter your financial life?

Simply decide to start somewhere.  Yup, that’s it – just decide and start doing things little bit by little bit.

Here are a few questions that I ask my clients to help them start to decrease the amount of financial clutter in their lives:

Do you have financial clutter in your mind?

Financial clutter isn’t just stuff that you can physically see.  It can also show up in how you think about money.  When it comes to money, what does your energy feel like? Is it full of upset, resentment, anger, guilt, fear or tightness or is it full of happiness, gratitude, positivity and abundance?  Most people I meet live a life where their energy and attitudes about money aren’t all that helpful (i.e. guilt, fear, etc.) instead of living a life where they have more positive attitudes about money.  The Law of Attraction essentially says that you’ll attract more of whatever you’re currently feeling – so if you’re feeling negatively about money you’ll get more of that and if you’re feeling positively about money you’ll get more of that.  Which would you rather feel right now? Decide to think (and act) positively regarding money and you’ll likely see improvements in your financial life pretty quickly.

Do you have financial clutter in your day-to-day living?

Day-to-day financial clutter takes many forms such as bills and receipt clutter, loose money or change, or my personal favorite “Ugly Wallet Syndrome.”  You know, where you can barely close your wallet there’s so much jammed in it?!?  If you’ve got financial receipts and change all over the place, how much respect are you showing your money?  Pick yourself up a clean new wallet or a small zip-top bag to keep your receipts organized, and you’re well on your way to cutting through this type of clutter.

Do you have financial clutter in your personal relationships?

Ask yourself, does anyone owe you money that you haven’t followed up on in a while?  Do you have any uncomfortable situations regarding someone else around money (hint: most people do)?  Many people are afraid to confront financial situations such as this because it has the potential to create conflict with loved ones.  However, if you don’t take the step to empower yourself and be proactive, you’re potentially sending the message that money doesn’t matter to you (even if it does).

These 3 areas of financial clutter are a great place to begin to determine where financial clutter might be holding you back.  With a few simple questions you can start kicking your financial clutter to the curb one step at a time.  As the old saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day and clearing financial clutter takes time too!

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