Is it just me, or does anyone else really dislike the concept of “surrender“?
For someone like me who for most of her life has been accustomed to proactively taking charge, thinking about sitting back and letting things flow initially gave me heart palpitations.
I mean, how does anyone get anything done if they’re surrendering? Doesn’t it feel out of control? (These are the things I would wonder when people would tell me to “let go” and “surrender.”)
While I used to think this way and be afraid of surrender, now I’m beginning to appreciate the importance of it in combination with taking action. As a business mentor once said to a mastermind group I was a part of, “pray and move your feet.” Said differently, be clear about what you want in your life and take steps to be a proactive participant in the process of creating your life.
I’m also starting to learn that knowing how to surrender is a pivotal part of manifesting abundance. Without surrender, it often feels like you’re pushing forward instead of riding the natural waves of life. Pushing feels like trying to control things, when at the end of the day as I’ve learned the hard way, control of anything in our world is a complete illusion. Yes – you can be a proactive participant in the process of creating your life; No – you cannot also create everything specifically to your liking. You must allow the mysteries of life to surprise you.
I’ve even started to study surrender (see the great book I read recently in the picture above) and the art of manifestation. As I’ve studied these topics, I’ve boiled down some basic steps to manifesting and creating abundance as follows:
- Have what you have – Many people would refer to this as the practice of Gratitude, and at its basic core it means to appreciate what you have already created. This step is critical in the manifestation process, and from what I’ve experienced creating abundance in your life when you’re not grateful for what you already have is near impossible. In essence, why would the Universe give you more if you don’t already love what you have now?
- Create space – I strongly believe and have experienced time and time again that when you don’t have space in your life for the abundance you want, that it has nowhere to land. Space can be defined as physical space, emotional space, or even mental space. So if you live with various forms of clutter surrounding you, it’s time to clean it up. If you’re feeling emotionally drained from people in your life who keep asking more and more of you, it’s time to draw boundaries and perhaps even put an end to some toxic relationships. And if you’re experiencing high levels of stress, it’s likely time to clear out some mental space to reclaim a more peaceful energy for yourself.
- Pursue inspiration vs. doing what you “should” do – We all have many commitments in our lives, particularly as it relates to our professional lives and our family lives. The truth is that for people with jobs you wouldn’t be paid for very long if you didn’t do what was asked of you, and if a mother didn’t take care of her children there would be circumstances there as well. This step refers to the importance of pursuing what inspires us and lights us up as this will generate a positive energy that has a higher likelihood of attracting amazing things into our lives. And while it may not be possible to shift 100% to pursuing inspiration in this moment due to existing responsibilities and commitments, I invite you consider a concept of “crowding the plate” that my business mentor taught me. When we crowd our plate, we are slowly (and over time) adding inspiration to begin to edge out commitments and responsibilities that we are no longer aligned with, which raises our vibration to attract more of what we want.
- Don’t be attached – There is a formula shared in the book “Ask and It is Given” that is simple – ask for what you want, the Universe provides it to you, and then you allow it. Notice how I said it is simple, not necessarily easy. Some people don’t receive things well when they show up in their life (especially if they believe they don’t deserve them), and sometimes they’re attached to what something should look like and therefore refuse what shows up because it doesn’t match their expectations! Detaching myself from the outcome of what arrives in my life has been, by far, one of the biggest adaptations I’ve needed to make to allow abundance. This adjustment was necessary because ultimately when we refuse what we are given then the Universe gets confused and frustrated and stops delivering what we ask for (because really, why bother right?)
When I choose to follow the steps above, there’s something magical that takes place as the opportunities that arrive in my life are perfectly aligned with my skill set and abilities. And when that happens, I’m able to serve others in a powerful way and share my gifts which gets that abundance machine all fueled up to manifest amazing things.
As has been true for me, life is truly about what Barbara Stanny referred to in her latest book as “receptive surrender.” And while Ms. Stanny defines that term specifically in her book, Sacred Success, my interpretation of “receptive surrender” is that when we’re able to focus on being present and release our need to control (i.e. surrender), the Universe can use the space created by surrender as a place to deliver our dreams!
After years of fighting it, I’m finally ready to put down the sword and allow the life of my dreams to arrive…how about you?